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InstagramDawne McKay:
I was unfortunately rear-ended and pushed into the path of a transport truck caused by a distracted driver. When I started my recovery, I didn’t think it would ever end because I was just so overwhelmed with the lawyers and insurance and jobs and rehab. There were some times there that I thought, “Jeez! Is this ever going to end?” I had so many questions. So, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Victims will still have really bad days, but there’s going to be a lot of good days, too.
David Craig – Host:
Today, I have Dawne McKay as a guest who actually is a prior victim of a crash. She’s written a book called Talk Crash To Me. She also has a crash support network group. This is After the Crash.
I’m Attorney David Craig, managing partner and one of the founders of the law firm of Craig, Kelley & Faultless. I’ve represented people who have been seriously injured, who have had a family member killed, and semi or other big truck wreck for over 30 years. Following the wreck, their lives are chaos. Often, they don’t even know enough about the process to ask the right questions. It is my goal to empower you by providing you with the information you need to protect yourself and your family. Each and every episode, I will interview top experts and professionals that are involved in truck wreck cases. This is After The Crash.
A little bit different than some of the guests we’ve had in the past. In the past, I’ve brought a variety of different people, reconstructionists, financial people, lawyers. Today, I have the great pleasure of interviewing Dawne, who actually is a prior victim of a crash. So, I’m excited because we get to look at it from the client’s perspective, the person’s perspective who’s going through all of this. She’s written a book called Talk Crash To Me. I’ve read that book. It’s a fantastic book for victims. It helps guide them and provides them helpful information.
She also has a crash support network group that is about, well, you can find it on Facebook, on LinkedIn, and a variety of other places, but she started that, and it’s extraordinarily helpful to people who’ve been through crashes, and who’ve been through traumatic events like on a semi wreck or an auto wreck. There’s not enough of those. There’s not enough support groups out there. I think it’s a great resource for clients. So, Dawne, thank you for agreeing to be a guest.
Dawne McKay:
Well, thanks for having me, David.
David Craig – Host:
I think, again, the perspective, I know you are the survivor of a horrific motor vehicle crash that left you with multiple serious injuries, and as a victim, you had to navigate not only the healing process, but also the legal process.
Dawne McKay:
Correct.
What Do Victims go Through After a Horrible Motor Vehicle Crash?
David Craig -Host:
So, when that first happens, I mean, obviously, you’re confused, you’re in pain, there’s a whole lot going on. Can you just talk to us a little bit about in the beginning what do these victims go through?
Dawne McKay:
Oh, sure. Well, of course, it was a horrific motor vehicle crash. I was on my way to work. I was, unfortunately, rear-ended and pushed into the path of a transport truck caused by a distracted driver. Of course, they take you away in the ambulance, so you don’t really know what’s going on at first because you’re in shock and you’re trying to figure out what just happened. So, they transported me to a local hospital. From there, they had to take me down to a trauma hospital due to my multiple injuries.
I spent a few days in the hospital, and they discharged me even though I couldn’t walk. So, I definitely needed a 24-hour care. So, my boyfriend at the time stood up and said he would take me and to look after me because I needed the care, of course, for the recovery process.
Once you get home, you’re dealing with nurses, and PSWs, and occupational therapists, and then all of a sudden, you’re dealing with a lawyer. I’ve never had to deal with a lawyer before. Never been in a crash like this before. So, this was a whole learning process for me. Of course, insurance on top of that. So, you’re not only dealing physically. You’re also dealing mentally, financially with all the challenges that you face. It’s all new. It was all new to me. I didn’t know what was all involved being a victim of a motor vehicle crash. So, it was just a huge learning process for me.
I would say it probably took maybe four to five months before I actually realized what it all entailed because at first, you’re definitely focusing on the physical to try to get more mobile, et cetera, and you’re worried about your health, you’re worried about your job. Your job’s been put on hold. You’re worried if you’re going to lose your job and things like that.
Of course, then you start going through the steps of the legal process and dealing with insurance. Maybe five or six months in, I felt alone. I felt like family and friends’ lives have moved on, and I felt stuck because you are stuck because you don’t know what your future entails. You feel really stuck and overwhelmed, and it’s a lot to take on.
David Craig – Host:
I think that’s, I mean, it’s such a unique perspective for having go through this where as lawyers, we sit there and we’re responsible for helping put people’s lives back together through the legal process. There’s so much more to it than just the legal process. I’ve got to think that, initially, there’s just a lot of confusion, a lot of anxiety, a lot of doubt, fear. All of those things have to be things that you’re going through in the very beginning.
Dawne McKay:
Absolutely. The flashbacks, it took me a really long time to control that. What I mean flashbacks, you’re having nightmares. You’re not sleeping well. You’re in severe pain trying to get better physically, but it’s a mental challenge as well. I would say it probably took me at least a year because you sit and doubt yourself like you say, “What if? What if I left a few minutes early? What if I left a few minutes later?” There is a timeframe that I don’t remember anything. So, that played on my mind a lot. So, I was trying to put the pieces back together, “Well, I remember going in the first ambulance, but I don’t really remember getting to the second hospital.”
So, your mind just continuously tends to overwhelm you because of everything that’s transpired. So, of course, the post-traumatic stress is real, for sure. I have never had it before. Definitely not fun, but, yeah. So, I had to seek a psychologist, which I was very reluctant to do at first because I had never seen one, but to this day, I don’t know what I would have done without him because he was a tremendous help, huge help. Yeah.
David Craig – Host:
Absolutely. My dad was a psychologist. I’m a little bias. I know people don’t like to go to psychologists, but I saw the help that he could provide people. People are skeptical. It’s easy when you have a broken arm to go to an orthopedic surgeon, but when you’re going through such a traumatic event, it’s sometimes hard for people to reach out, and sometimes people look at you funny because they have never been to a psychologist or a psychiatrist, but by God, really, they can help you so much.
Dawne McKay:
Absolutely.
David Craig – Host:
I encourage everybody to get whatever type of help it is you need, whether it’s the medical doctors or the psychological or the counseling or whatever, and also legal. You need a team, really, to help you get through these events.
Dawne McKay:
Sure. That’s right. Absolutely.
David Craig – Host:
I know that I’ve been hired before. Families have referred me. They’ve told families to reach out to me, and I’ve gone to hospitals where their family members have been killed, and there are survivors, they’re still in the hospital. I know when I go in there they’re just in shock. The family is not thinking about hiring a lawyer. The family is not thinking about a lawsuit. I mean, they’re just in survival mode. They’re trying to think, “What’s going to happen to this child? Who’s going to raise this person?” If it’s a spouse, “Who’s going to take care of these children?” They’re just thinking of all the other things, but getting a lawyer is not one of them. Is that true for you as well?
Dawne McKay:
For me, personally, I believe it was a police officer that had spoke to my boyfriend at the time. He put the bug in his ear and said, “Do you have a lawyer? You need to get a lawyer.” At first, my boyfriend didn’t understand what transpired, and he said, “Well, do I need a lawyer for her because she was at fault,” and he said, “No. You need to talk to a lawyer because of the circumstances. She wasn’t at fault, but you need to talk to a lawyer right away.” So, the police officer was kind enough to put the bug in his ear, and I believe he called from the hospital if I remember right to set up a lawyer.
Now, I wouldn’t have known to do that because I was very highly medicated and out of it. So, I would never have even thought to call a lawyer, but there’s a lot of people, I guess, will get to my group, but there’s a lot of people, other victims that I speak. They’ll reach out to me because, first of all, they don’t know what a personal injury lawyer is, and they’re not sure if they should get one. You’re talking a few months after it’s all transpired and they’ve already dealt with insurance and I think, “Oh, my gosh! They don’t realize that they should be contacting a lawyer as quickly as possible.” So, trying to spread the word and get the awareness out there.
David Craig – Host:
Well, a friend of mine, he likes to say, “You don’t know what you don’t know.” So, if you’ve never been to this process, you don’t know. The insurance companies and the trucking companies, they know. I mean, they’ve been through this multiple times. They know how to protect their clients. They know how to protect their insured. They know how to protect their money, but the victims don’t. I mean, it’s their first time.
When I go in and meet people, I mean, very fortunate, very often it’s a family member or a friend who’s looking out for the victim. They are the ones who tell these people, “Look, you better get somebody. While you’re getting better, you need to have somebody looking after your legal interest.”
I think in your book you touched on that in Talk Crash to Me, you talked about how important it is to get an attorney, to represent your interest. I think, and you may not have known this in the very beginning, what is a personal injury lawyer? How do they work? Do they make me pay? I mean, were you familiar with our profession?
Dawne McKay:
I was familiar to a certain degree, and I was aware of the contingency fee. That was something new over the last few years. So, I knew that you didn’t have to pay upfront. So, I was familiar with that. I believe my boyfriend was aware of that, too, but there are still numerous people out there that don’t realize that personal injury lawyers are there for your benefit to help you get through the process.
From the moment I went home, the lawyer looked after me. The law clerk set up everything at home. She was doing daily check-in phone calls with me, not necessarily talking to me but talking to my boyfriend, “Is there anything else that she needs? The OT is going to come tomorrow. How else can I help? What else can we do?”
So, they were the first, I guess, support system, the positive support system that I had very quickly after that crash, but, yeah, they were extremely helpful. I don’t think we would have been able to do all that on our own, to pick up a phone and try to find a nurse to come in. I had to have nursing daily for two months due to a horrific seatbelt wound, but I tell you, they took care of all that for me. They were really good that way.
David Craig – Host:
I think it’s important that people understand that. So, a personal injury lawyer, they typically do not charge you unless they make a recovery on your behalf. So, they don’t make you pay as you go. Not only that, they advance the expenses. I don’t know any personal injury lawyer who does this for a living that doesn’t advance the expenses as they go along, so that as the victim, you don’t really have to pay money out of your pocket, and you’re entitled to, and you receive the representation without having to worry about that part of it.
Dawne McKay:
Right. Absolutely. It’s a big relief. It’s a big relief to have that, to be able to put your trust in the right lawyer, for sure, to be able to look after that.
David Craig – Host:
In your book, you talk a little bit about what you should look for, what are some questions you should ask your lawyer. I encourage people. It’s an important decision because you may spend years working with this lawyer and this law firm. It’s a catastrophic injury, you’re not going to heal overnight. So, it’s going to take time. So, making sure you’re comfortable with the lawyers, and that you have the right lawyers is extraordinarily important.
Unfortunately, I see people who don’t pick the right lawyers and then they pay a price for that. I mean, you’re suffering, and the last thing you want to do is make things worse by picking the wrong law firm.
Dawne McKay:
Correct.
David Craig – Host:
So, let’s talk a little bit about some of the questions you think that are important for victims to understand when they’re selecting a law firm.
Questions You Should Ask Before Selecting a Law Firm
Dawne McKay:
Well, when they’re selecting a law firm, they need to do their research right away. Whether the victim, if they can do or a family member, you certainly have to do your research. Google is a great tool to use. Look at their reviews. See what their testimonials are, if they’re trial lawyers in case your crash has to go through to a trial.
A lot of people think that they have to get the biggest law firm and the most well-known or the one that you see on the television commercial, and that’s not necessarily the case. So, I had a very small law firm and it worked out quite well. He did a fantastic job and I’m very pleased with it, and I’m still in touch with him. This is going on nine years now, but I’m still in touch with that law firm. Yeah. I just need to make it clear that you don’t necessarily have to go to the biggest city to find the biggest law firm.
There’s a comfort level. You need to find someone almost like you have to do an interview, of course. Ask them the right questions such as if they’ve gone to trial. Find the comfort level. If something feels off or they’re not returning your call right away. You have to follow your gut, I guess, if I can say that. The lawyer has to have your best interest at heart, not just the claim, not just the case. You have to build a good relationship with them. Like you say, it could go on for several years. If you get off to a rocky start, then you need to jump on that and make sure you’re going to get the right representation right away.
David Craig – Host:
I mean, I think that it’s important for, just like you said and, in the book, I mean, it’s important for your lawyer to have the specific knowledge. Do they know about how to handle a personal injury case? They have to have the experience. Have they actually handled a case like yours? There’s all kinds of different cases. I do a lot of semi truck or trailer crashes, and the semi were actually different, big truck were actually different than car wrecks or slip and falls or whatever.
So, I mean, you need somebody who has the knowledge and the experience and also the resources. I mean, if you’re fighting a multimillion dollar case, the lawyer has to be able to advance expenses and hire the reconstructionist and hire the right people. Two of the lawyers in my firm are board-certified in truck wreck law and that’s a vetting process that someone else has checked us out and made sure that we know truck wreck law.
So, like you said, you can go and Google and you can look at things, and you can find out, “Is somebody board-certified? Are they being ranked by their peers, by Martindale-Hubbell or Super Lawyers?” or whatever. You can look it up and see how good is this law firm or how good is this lawyer, but then I thought you had a great point in your book, which a lot of people don’t know unless they’ve been through the process, which is, “Are you the one handling my case?” Let’s talk a little bit about that.
Dawne McKay:
Yeah. Absolutely. A lot of law firms … Gee, how do I explain this? Larger law firms, they take on so many cases that you’re not going to be able to get the personal attention that you desperately need as you’re recovering, and they will pass the claims onto other lawyers. As a client, you’re not necessarily aware of that. So, that’s when the problem start happening that you start calling and they’re not returning your calls, et cetera, et cetera. Then you need to find out if that personal injury lawyer is actually representing you or if they put your claim to someone else. It happens, unfortunately, quite a lot, a lot. Yeah.
David Craig – Host:
Now, I see law firms that are marketing and, again, you touched on it in the book and said there’s law firms out there that market. They have television commercial. They have billboards. They have Google ads or whatever, and they’re highly placed on their rankings on Google. They never have even the intention of handling the case in the very beginning. They’re basically marketing firms, I mean, really, and they’re going to get that case and refer it out to a different law firm.
Dawne McKay:
Correct. Yeah, and that’s really unfortunate for the client right from the get-go. The client desperately needs the support and only to deal with one lawyer and the lawyer that’s looking after your case because we’re already confused to begin with as a victim and we’re already overwhelmed with all of our appointments. That’s adding more fuel to the fire and more confusion along the way of them realizing the lawyer is not the lawyer you thought was representing you in the first place. So, you have to be very, very careful and very vigilant to make sure that you’re getting the right lawyer.
David Craig – Host:
Like you said, interviewing people, asking them the questions, “Are you the lawyer that’s going to handle my case? What’s your team? Who’s the team?” because one lawyer is not going to do everything, but you’re going to have paralegals. You’re going to have a variety of people who’s going to work the case. I would encourage victims to interview the lawyer and meet the team and then ask what their role is going to be, and how actively they’re going to be involved, but be delirious of somebody who just takes in your case and then refers it out to somebody you don’t even know because you don’t know then what you’re getting.
Dawne McKay:
Correct. Correct.
David Craig – Host:
Well, let’s talk a little bit about treatment. One of the things that I like that you wrote in your book, and I know you push out as you really have to be an advocate for yourself when you’re going through this process.
Being an Advocate for Yourself Through This Process
Dawne McKay:
You do.
David Craig – Host:
Talk a little bit about what you mean by that.
Dawne McKay:
Well, like I said before, I found that friends and family’s lives had moved on. A lot of people go back to work that might have been caring for you and you’re home alone dealing with all of your different services that are coming in to help you. If something doesn’t feel right to you, you have to bring it to their attention, and if you feel that you’re still not being heard, you have to keep pushing it.
I had an issue shortly after my crash with my eyesight. I was putting it off for a little while. So, I had to take the initiative to get an appointment with an optometrist because I wasn’t sure because I suffered from a traumatic brain injury, so I wasn’t sure if that had to do with my head injury with my eyes being messed up. When I saw the optometrist, he actually did a test on me and I don’t know what the name of test was to make sure that I didn’t have a brain bleed because he knew my head was hurt in that crash. He had come back and he said, “I found a shadow. I don’t want to alert you, but I have to do the test again.”
So, he was genuinely concerned, and he was very thankful that I advocated for myself saying, “You know what? I’m not feeling good. My eyesight is off. Something is going on. I better get it checked out.” So, anything that feels off you really have to advocate for yourself and speak up, absolutely, for anything. Even if it sounds minimal, it could lead to something that down the road you might be regretting not pushing the issue. If you feel you’re not being heard, you just have to keep pushing the issue and pushing it until you get a resolution because the physical aspect is the most important and mentally, of course, but, yeah, you really have to advocate for yourself.
Like I say, family members and friends’ lives might move on, so you have to look after yourself. The top priority is look after your recovery. Every day matters. So, if something changes, you should definitely look into it.
David Craig – Host:
I think that’s important for people to realize is that I think sometimes where people are intimidated, and I know we talk about lawyers are intimidated by picking a lawyer. They’re also intimidated by their doctors. I mean, sometimes people have gone their whole life and been pretty healthy, and then all of a sudden without them being at fault, suddenly their life is changed, and when you’re going to these doctors’ offices, sometimes people just are quiet.
I always tell clients, “Don’t exaggerate, but don’t minimize. Be sure you tell them everything because if they don’t know everything, they can’t make the right diagnoses and treatment plans. So, you have to be honest, and you have to tell people everything and don’t assume that is not meaningful because it might be.”
Dawne McKay:
Yes, and it’s unfortunate because a lot of crash survivors hear over and over again, “Well, your motor vehicle crash was six months ago. You should be over it.” They hear that constantly. I hear it from everyone in my group saying, “I can’t take it because a lot of people don’t believe me. They think that a year and a half I should be recovered, and I should be going back to work,” et cetera, et cetera.
It’s sad that some people feel that way because a lot of the injuries could be invisible. So, you might look okay like I look okay today. I had a shower and I did my hair, but nobody really knows how I slept last night or if I’m sitting here in pain right now because we’re going on nine years now. So, you have to train yourself and learn how to cope with your own coping mechanisms with the chronic pain, et cetera.
It’s really unfortunate that if a lot of people don’t see visibly that you’re hurt, they’re just going to assume that your just fine, and that if you’re saying something hurts or you’re complaining, “Well, that can’t be true because you’re fine. Look at you,” but they’re living in your body. So, even though we look okay, it’s not fair to judge people. If you’re saying you’re not well, then you’re not well.
David Craig – Host:
Well, I think that’s particularly true in the area of traumatic brain injury because with a traumatic brain injury, you don’t always see it. You don’t have to have a bleed. You can have a brain injury without it showing up on a scan. You look at somebody and they may physically be able to get around or move around, but oftentimes, they’re not the same person they was. I have family members that talk to me all the time about … I love this person, I mean, this family member, I love them, but it’s not the same person that was in that car before the wreck. That’s hard to see. Then if you’re not somebody who is a family member, who knew somebody before, then you don’t have any idea what the difference is, that this is really a different person.
Dawne McKay:
Sure. Yeah. Yeah. It’s sad, very sad to hear that, but, again, you need your family’s support. So, if we’re not the same person that we were before the crash, then you have to accept. You have to work with that. Find the good in it, and bring the good out in the victim. If the victim is hearing you say, “Well, you’re just not the same person. What’s wrong with you?” or bringing negativity into the mix, it’s just not going to help a victim trying to recover at all.
So, those comments should be, I guess, be said in private, and the victim shouldn’t be aware of that because we’re all trying our best to find the new us, so to speak, after a crash, and we want our lives to be like we were right before the crash, too, but unfortunately, sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way.
David Craig – Host:
It doesn’t mean the new person can’t be an extraordinarily great person. I mean, you have found a calling that you probably wouldn’t have found had you not been through the wreck, and because of that wreck, which is I wouldn’t wish on anybody, but you now are helping so many people through your book and through your network that just wouldn’t have happened. So, I think rather than judging what was there and that was here, I agree with you, and I love that, the positivity in your book, which is focus on the good. Focus on who you are today.
Dawne McKay:
Sure. Very important. I appreciate the compliment there. I am helping quite a few people. The reason I actually started the support group online is because I found that there wasn’t anywhere I could reach out to someone else. I was sitting there one day on the couch a few months into my recovery and I’m like, “I really need to speak to someone that’s gone through the same things as me. Obviously, there’s got to be some kind of a support group.” I started doing research and I was gobsmacked that there wasn’t anything. There was only one, but they had to have a maximum amount of people in order to do an in-person support group.
I thought, “Well, this isn’t right.” So, I thought, “I’m going to go on and create my own group.” Within, I think, 10 minutes, a gentleman joined my group and he had just been in a terrible truck crash, and he was worried about his family. Then we started talking. I thought, “This is wonderful. He’s telling me what’s on his mind. I’m telling him what’s on my mind,” and I thought, “This is fabulous.”
Now, I’ve met somebody that, because sometimes you doubt yourself or you second guess yourself and it’s so therapeutic just to meet someone and talk to somebody whether in person or online that has gone through the same recovery as you. Absolutely.
David Craig – Host:
I think for people so often, again, they’ve not ever gone through this process. They probably don’t know anybody who actually has gone through this process. So, I think a crash support network and groups and organizations like that, at least they have somebody that know we’re not the only one.
Dawne McKay:
Absolutely because a lot of people feel, the majority of us feel very alone because that’s how I felt. Even though I had fantastic support, I still felt alone. It wasn’t that I felt like I was a burden. I just felt like I was holding so much in that only another person that went through it could understand because you think about your family and friends. They can only hear it for so long because they continue on with their lives and you’re like, “I don’t want to talk about this every day, every day, every day.” So, you take a step back and then that’s what I did. Then I thought, “Well, jeez! I’m going to have to speak to someone else.”
As soon as I started doing that, everything completely changed, and I started getting more members and everything, and I felt now I’ve found, even if it was two or three people, I felt relief that, “Yes, I can talk to these people now. I don’t have to say the same thing every day and when everybody else is having a good day and I might be having a bad day, I now can go to my tribe that’s also having a bad day.”
David Craig – Host:
I think that, and you’ve touched on it, I mean, it’s just human nature that when something like this happens at first, there’s an outpouring of support. There’s people bringing meals. There’s people that are supporting and talking and coming and checking on you and helping in any way they can, but as time goes on, which is, I mean, in every case where there’s been a serious injury or when a death of a key family member, the breadwinner or whatever, the mother, I mean, the mother or the father, either of one of them, if they’re the ones that bring the money into the family or they’re the ones that provide the support to the children, whatever, I mean, it takes time.
The healing process isn’t fast. The healing process is different for every person. The people, your friends and your family, even with the best of intentions, don’t come around as much. They’re not helping as much. Sometimes I see that and I tell my clients ahead of time. First of all, try to find a support group, but secondly, this is going to happen. This is going to happen. I think you have to be prepared for the long haul.
Dawne McKay:
Absolutely. Yeah. It’s not a quick recovery. Yeah. You’re on point there that it’s just human nature, I guess, that a few months in people do start slowly disappearing. I lost friendships. It’s not a pleasant experience to go through. I think a lot of people need to realize when you are recovering from a, I’m not even going to say horrific, I’m just going to say a motor vehicle crash in general with injuries, a lot of people need to realize it takes a lot of time. It takes a lot of effort. It takes a lot of patience. They just have to continue to be as supportive as they can and that they should not disappear because that doesn’t help. It just makes the situation even worse because then you tend to get upset about that as you’re trying to recover.
So, “Please don’t give up on us,” I’ll say and recovery does take a long time. Unfortunately, if someone hasn’t experienced it firsthand, they’re not going to understand it as much, I guess, if I can say that. That’s the only way to describe it is if they haven’t been through it firsthand, they don’t realize how long of a recovery it takes, for sure.
David Craig – Host:
I think one of the other things that you touched on in the book and I found very helpful is maybe some advice to family members because not unlike … So, the victim, it’s the first time that the victim is going through this, but it is also the first time their friends and family are going through it. You give some great tips on some things you should do and some things you shouldn’t do. Maybe you can talk a little bit about that.
Advice for Family Members of Car Crash Victims
Dawne McKay:
Sure. Well, when it comes to the family members, I know a lot of family members will get upset or disappointed if we have to say no a visit. We go through good days and we go through really bad days. It’s not our fault. Half the time, if someone’s canceling a visit, it’s not because we want to. It’s because we have to. I think a lot of family members and friends don’t understand that, that it’s actually not our fault. Sometimes they think it’s intentional if we’re canceling, and that’s not the case.
It’s just because we’ve had a bad day, we were up all night, and we’re not functionable enough to be able to get in the shower like other people might just jump in the shower and get ready and jump in the car. It’s not as easy for us, especially even when I say a car, it’s not as easy anymore just to jump in a car and to go visit a friend type of thing.
So, I would say to family members if we have to cancel, it’s not our fault, and if they could be a little bit more understanding. Family members, yeah, they definitely don’t give up on us because a lot of family members and friends give up on us and we need you. I would speak for every victim out there that even though we’re canceling two or three times because we’re not up to it, we still need you. Don’t give up on us because we really do need that support.
I think that family members and friends just to have to be a little bit more understanding. So, I think a lot of people think, “Oh, within six months or a year she’s going to be just fine,” and they have to understand it’s not like that. It takes a really long time. Sometimes we don’t even recover 100%. I think about a year and a half into my recovery for rehabilitation, my doctor took me aside and said, “You’ve reached a plateau now.”
I said, “Well, what does that mean?”
She said, “That’s all we can do for you. Now, you could still come and we can help you get the rehab that you need, chiro or massage or things like that to help ease the chronic pain,” but she said, “You’ve reached a plateau now, which means that this is it. We have to figure out how you’re going to live like this now.”
I thought, “Oh, my gosh!”
That was a year and a half in where I was told that very unfortunate news. Then as you go, like I say, you learn as you go, what works and what doesn’t and just to deal with the pain and the issues that are involved. Sometimes a lot of survivors never recover 100%. So, we’re always fighting. We’re continuously fighting. Some of them, some victims continuously fight right till the very end years and years down the road.
David Craig – Host:
Yeah. Well, one of the other things you had mentioned, which I hadn’t even thought about, but I thought it was great advice was don’t just drop in on the victims. So, I mean, sometimes we think about it and say with a friend or a family we might just drop in and see they’re doing, but you recommend against that. Why is that?
Dawne McKay:
Well, I’ll start with the hospital visit first. When you’re in the hospital, especially if it’s within the first 48 hours, 72 hours, people tend to want to get there as soon as possible to be by your side, and we understand that, and we want you to be there, but it’s a busy time. The trauma surgeon is in and out. I had an orthopedic surgeon. I had nurses taking blood it seemed like every 20 minutes, and then I had X-rays every hour. It’s really, really hectic the first few days when you’re in a trauma hospital.
So, it’s not always the appropriate time and I know family members and friends mean well, but I would definitely recommend maybe to connect with another family member and say, “Would it be okay if I stop by? Is there anybody there?” Because when you’re actually in it in the trauma hospital at first, I didn’t even realize who was there and who wasn’t. So, even though I’m thankful that someone’s there, I was so busy and overwhelmed and highly medicated. I didn’t even know if anybody was there or not.
When you’re at home, it might not be the best time. It might not be convenient for the victim. So, I tend to speak a lot about making sure that it’s the right time for the victim. You could be having two or three different rehabilitation people coming in to the home. You could be right in the middle of a procedure that you might not want your friend or family member to be involved in or have to go into another room. You might be so injured that your couch has been your life for the last week, and then you don’t want to interrupt when a procedure is taking place, and then to put the victim out to have to go into another room, things like that.
So, yeah, unexpected visits for a survivor I wouldn’t recommend because it adds way too much more pressure because then you tend, as a victim, your main focus should be on yourself, and then the first couple of weeks after surviving a crash like that, if you have somebody visiting, you tend to then put the tension on them when in reality you need to really focus on yourself, physically, mentally, financially.
Like you say, kids and family and the sole breadwinner, there’s a lot, a lot to deal with. It’s not just a matter of … Like a lot of people say, “Well, it could have been worse and you’re so lucky to be alive.”
“Yeah, I’m very lucky that I’m alive. It could have gone a different way, but at the same time, this is a lot. It’s very overwhelming what you have to deal with. Yes, I’m thankful that I’m here, but at the same time, it’s quite a challenging process to go through the recovery challenge there.”
David Craig – Host:
I’ve had a lot of clients tell me that. I mean, I actually talked to psychiatrists and psychologists about it that it’s very common for people to say, “You were lucky. You’re lucky to be alive.” Unfortunately, people mean well when they say that, but at one part, it subconsciously reinforces that you almost died or you could have died. So, that’s not a healthy thing for people. It’s a constant reminder that they almost died or they could have died, whether it’s conscious or subconscious.
Secondly, they’ve been lucky if they wouldn’t have been in a wreck. I mean, that’s what, really, I mean, if you think about it, it’s not lucky to be in a wreck. It’s not lucky to have survived a wreck because that means you were in a wreck and you’ve had serious injuries. So, again, I think people mean well. I get that. I understand that. It’s not something I say because I have represented for over 35 years people like yourself, and that’s just not the most appropriate thing to say.
Dawne McKay:
Right. There’s another thing, actually, that I just thought of is that, and I think I mentioned that in my book as well for family members and friends, when you’re involved in a lawsuit, the last thing that you want to ask the victim is, “Well, what’s going on with the lawsuit? What’s going on? Are they going to settle? When are they going to settle?” because I could be having the most awesome day and feeling good and had a goodnight sleep, not thinking about the crash, not thinking about my therapy that I’m having, and then as soon as somebody would mention that, then it brought me right back, and then, of course, you tend to think about it. You go back to the crash and you think about the lawsuit, and your job, and et cetera.
So, yeah, a lot of people ask me that, and I would highly recommend if you can to not ask that. I know they mean well because they want to make sure that you’re looked after because you were terribly hurt with multiple injuries, and there was somebody to blame, so to speak, whether it was a reckless driver. Someone’s usually at fault when it comes to a motor vehicle crash. I know they want the best for you, but at the same time, asking that brings a victim back to the day of when you ask things like that.
David Craig – Host:
Same thing is true with, “When will you be able to go back to work?” or “When will you be healed? When will you be better?” because if you might ask somebody that, “So, when are the doctors telling you you’re going to be fixed, you’re going to be okay?” and if they just went through like what you just talked where the doctor says you’ve plateaued, and you’re not going to get any better, it’s a tough thing.
So, my experience has been with the victims, when they want to talk to you about those things, they’ll talk to you about them, but it’s better that you let them volunteer that information than ask. Would you agree with that?
Dawne McKay:
Absolutely, 100%, for sure.
David Craig – Host:
I think it’s important for victims to understand that things will get better. I mean, I’ve seen really bad, bad results or bad things happen to people, and there’s times when they just don’t know whether it’s going to get better or not with time. I read a book once, I think it was Pastor Schuller wrote, Tough Times Never Last But Tough People Do. I think that it’s important for victims not to give up.
Dawne McKay:
Absolutely.
David Craig – Host:
Understand that someday it’s going to get better, maybe not all the way better, maybe not the same, but it’s going to be better than what it is today.
Dawne McKay:
Right. Absolutely. Amen on that. Yeah. I know after when I started my recovery I didn’t think it would ever end because I was just so overwhelmed with lawyers and insurance and jobs and rehab. There were some times there that I thought, “Jeez! Is this ever going to end?” I had so many questions. So, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Victims will still have really bad days, but there’s going to be a lot of good days, too. It will come. So, I would say six months after my crash I wish somebody had told me that, and I will tell you that nobody really told me that it was going to get better.
If anything, I felt like I was drowning in just so many different aspects of my life. My life completely changed in a matter of seconds. Right from the moment that happened, it spiraled that your life definitely gets put on hold and you have to remain strong and it will get better. It’s going to take some time, but it will get better. Like you say, every recovery is different, but they’ll get there. Everybody will get there eventually. It’s just going to take some time, absolutely.
David Craig – Host:
One of the interesting things that I think one of the things that helps you get better is talking to people like folks that are in your support groups so that you know that, “Okay. I’m not the only one out there.”
Dawne McKay:
Yeah, because a lot of people they thank me right away. The majority of them thank me and say, “I’m so glad to have found your group. I wish I had found you sooner.” So, they had been suffering not being able to let out their emotions. It could be just something as simple as, “I’m going for an insurance medical assessment next week, and I have to be there all day. Has anybody else gone through that? Does anybody have any tips for me how should I handle it?”
Some of them are very, very simple questions, and some of them are very precise like, “I have to go for discoveries. I don’t know what to do,” or “I can’t get a hold of my lawyer,” or anything from the crash itself to the injuries, to the legal process, to the insurance process. We have people in the group globally from all over the world, but motor vehicle crashes happen all over the world. So, it doesn’t matter like myself if you live in Canada, if you live in the States or if you live in Australia. The rules of the road or the insurance process, I guess I mean, and the legal process might be a bit different, but every motor vehicle crash is all around the world. So, to bring us all together, we try to help each other as much as we possibly can.
It’s more of a peer support. So, when I first started the group, I would send out daily inspirations to try to get everybody speaking, et cetera, to get a peer support group going. Now, it’s worked out that way probably within the last year and a half that if somebody writes something for advice within five or 10 minutes they might get 15 to 20 comments. So, it’s wonderful. Very caring, empathetic environment. It’s a private group that you have to ask to join. So, I guess I could say what goes on in the group stays in the group, so to speak.
Yeah. The peer support is amazing. We don’t allow any pictures, any photos of the motor vehicle crash or even the injuries because there’s a lot of people suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, so we don’t want to add unnecessary triggers. So, it’s more or less just, I guess, text. We’re not texting, but just speaking to each other, typing back and forth, almost like a chatroom, I guess. Yeah. So, I’m very proud the way it’s turned out, that it runs itself now.
I’m still in there and I approve posts, and I comment, and I post certain things in there, but, yeah, I’m very proud of the people, the members of the group for taking the initiative to welcome people and start the conversation going. So, it’s worked out quite well.
David Craig – Host:
Tell people how they might find you.
The Crash Support Network Group
Dawne McKay:
Okay. So, the Crash Support Network Group is on Facebook. So, it’s a private group on Facebook, and it’s called the Crash Support Network Group. I also have a website, crashsupportnetwork.com. If victims go on there, they can find the link to the Facebook group. I’m also blogging about my personal experience as a survivor, and I also have a quarterly newsletter called Sharing Our Recovery, which is a fantastic newsletter for victims and survivors of crashes to sign up for and subscribe because it has very highly informative articles that they can all relate to. Yeah, and that’s all found on the crashsupportnetwork.com.
David Craig – Host:
Tell people how they might find this book. This is a great book.
Dawne McKay:
Yes. I’m going to bring it back to you.
David Craig – Host:
It’s an awesome book.
Dawne McKay:
Thank you.
David Craig – Host:
It’s ready to read. I found it helpful enough that we’re actually going to give it to clients of ours so that they can, again, look at it from a perspective because what I find as lawyers we’ve been through this in three to five years. I can’t tell you how many clients I have represented. I can’t tell you how many clients I currently represent. I have a better idea of that and I do how many total, but the reality is we’re busy helping people going through the process, protecting them, but we don’t look at it from the perspective, at least not all lawyers look at it from the perspective of the client.
I really try to. I mean, I really have done a lot. I’ve written books. I do a podcast. I try to help people, give them information and knowledge, but so many lawyers don’t. So many lawyers don’t, “You should be grateful you have me as your lawyer. I’ll take care of your lawsuit, and you just worry about getting better.”
So, it’s nice to have sources like this book to hand out to clients and say, “Hey, look. Look at it from a client’s perspective, a victim’s perspective.” So, tell folks how they might find this book.
Dawne McKay:
Yes. So, my book Talk Crash To Me is available for purchase on Amazon. Yeah. I’m getting great reviews. A lot of survivors, the majority of them are saying it’s a giant hug that they felt they needed, and a lot of them are saying that they wish they had this book at the start of their recovery. So, I took that into account when I wrote it. This was actually during the start of the pandemic that I thought. I never thought I’d write a book, but I thought, “I need a little bit of a distraction here with everything that’s going on in the world.” So, I thought, “Well, I think I’m going to start sitting down and put something together and something that would be beneficial at the start of a survivor’s recovery.”
So, this is a book that I genuinely wish somebody had handed to me when I started my recovery. Most importantly, it’s so important to me to let victims and survivors know that they’re not alone, that there is people out there just like you going through the same things. So, I’m hoping with the book I will help survivors feel less alone and little tips and advice along the way, and give them a little bit of a booster that there’s hope at the end of the dark tunnel, so to speak, that it’s coming. Yeah.
David Craig – Host:
Well, thank you for writing it.
Dawne McKay:
Thank you.
David Craig – Host:
I really appreciate it on behalf of my clients and other victims. Why don’t you tell us a little bit about as far as what’s important? What do you believe is important for survivors of serious wrecks or auto crashes to know?
What Is Important for Survivors of Serious Wrecks to Know?
Dawne McKay:
Sure. If anybody out there has been in a motor vehicle wreck, I would say the first thing is to seek medical attention as soon as possible. It’s very important. A lot of people tend to think they just have a minor injury and go back to their daily activities, but it is crucial that they get checked out by a medical professional.
The next step would speak to an attorney that specializes in personal injury law. I would recommend doing the research on the law firm. Google their reviews. See what their experience is, how many clients they’ve done in the past, et cetera. Make sure that you have a rehabilitation team in place because that’s crucial. You need all the help and support that you can get physically to get you back to where you once were.
I would also recommend not to rush your recovery because you’ll need time. You need to find your support system as well. It’s really important that you have support throughout your recovery. I would say expect the overwhelming days, but there will be a lot of good days, too. Crash survivors definitely need to stay strong through their recovery.
David Craig – Host:
Would you agree that it’s really important that all that combines together to increase your odds of having a successful recovery, having the right lawyers, having the right medical team, having the right rehabilitation team, and having the right support group? Would you agree that all together is extraordinarily important for victims of auto crashes?
Dawne McKay:
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. It’s going to be overwhelming with the appointments and dealing with all these medical appointments and dealing maybe perhaps with lawyers for the very first time, but every appointment is crucial. There’s going to be tiring days where crash survivors will be tired and overwhelmed and not feeling up to these appointments, but I can’t stress it enough that every appointment is crucial to your recovery.
David Craig – Host:
I think one of the important things and one of the reasons why I wanted to talk to you is because you have personal knowledge. You’ve been through this. It gives your voice credibility, where someone who hasn’t been through this doesn’t have the same perspective. I know that your particular crash is sensitive to you and it’s, I’m sure even though it’s been as many years as it’s been, it’s still emotionally traumatic, but I will give you the opportunity. Is there anything you would like to share about your specific wreck with this audience?
Dawne McKay:
Right. It is still quite emotional for me. I’m going on nine years now. I will share that I was on my way to work sitting at a full stop waiting to make a left hand turn when I was rear-ended by an SUV going at an extremely high rate of speed and pushed into the path of a transport truck. From there, it left me with multiple injuries including a horrific seatbelt wound, a traumatic brain injury. I was transported to a local hospital. From there, they had to instantly transport me down to a trauma hospital where I spent a few days in 24-hour care. The crash was caused by a distracted driver.
So, I’m trying to actually bring awareness to that as well. It’s really important to keep your eyes on the road at all times because, unfortunately, I’m an example of what can happen when someone is distracted behind the wheel of a vehicle. It can be horrific and it could potentially be fatal.
David Craig – Host:
I can’t disagree more, I mean, agree more. Over the years, I used to see a lot of drunk drivers and a lot of wrecks caused by drunk drivers, and there still are wrecks out there by impaired drivers, but, certainly, the distraction and the distracted driver I see far more wrecks every single week that occur because of distraction. The distraction can be from a variety of things. Cellphones certainly are a big cause of distracted driving. People are using their cellphones now for GPS, for radio, for internet, for all kinds of different things, which is very dangerous.
So, whether they’re using for their cellphone, whether they’re using for some other purpose, it can be extraordinarily dangerous, but there are also people eating, people reading, people doing all kinds of things, even carrying on conversations with multiple people in a car. There’s so many different forms of distraction and they’re all dangerous.
Dawne McKay:
Right. Absolutely. It’s life-changing. So, even though crash survivors survived horrific motor vehicle crashes like that, it’s life-changing. That phone call or that hamburger behind the wheel can certainly wait. I think people need to be aware of the consequences when you’re not fully attentive to the wheel of your vehicle that you’re driving. It can wait. It can certainly wait.
David Craig – Host:
I know, I mean, and we mentioned earlier or we mentioned as well that we’ve seen that. We see distracted drivers, but it affects both people. I mean, it affects the victims, but I don’t think people realize, too, it also affects the people who caused the wreck. Nobody sets out to be dangerous and to hurt or kill somebody. Most of the time, they’re just not thinking about it. So, certainly, it doesn’t affect the people who caused the wrecks as much as the victims, but it does affect everybody. Everybody’s lives are turned upside down. So, you really should think about it because it’s not only going to affect their lives, but it’s going to affect your lives.
Dawne McKay:
Sure. Absolutely.
David Craig – Host:
One of the things that we found, I have the distracted driving machines that we started using after one of my clients was killed by a distracted driver, so we use those to educate kids because I wanted children to know and kids going through driver’s ed, we provide them to driver’s ed classes, I want them to understand because what they think is that young people who are driving, they think that they can handle the distractions and they’re an exception, that they’re not going to wreck because they got some superhuman skills.
Dawne McKay:
Yes.
David Craig – Host:
The great thing about the distracted driving machines is that it shows them. They can’t get through the course without wrecking. What had happened is that the reason they believe that they can get through it successfully is that they have driven and they have used their phone or they have been distracted and nothing bad happened, but that’s just because there wasn’t anybody slowing down or stopping or pulling out in front of them.
Dawne McKay:
Sure. Absolutely.
David Craig – Host:
I think I agree with you. I think the more education we can give to that, the better.
Dawne McKay:
Yeah. Absolutely. It’s fantastic what you’re doing for the distracted drivers there.
David Craig – Host:
Yeah. Well, I’ve seen way too many clients that have lost loved ones or who have been seriously injured by distracted drivers. So, something has to be done. Just ticketing people isn’t enough because some of the police are hesitant to enforce those tickets. They’re hard to prove what you’re doing in the wreck. So, I think awareness is far better strategy.
Dawne McKay:
Sure. Yeah.
David Craig – Host:
What else? Is there anything else that we haven’t talked about that you would like to talk about or mention?
Dawne McKay:
Well, actually, I have a mascot for the Crash Support Network. His name is Survivor Davis. He’s actually an Instagram star. So, he Hosts Friday Focus every week on Instagram, and he shares inspirational and motivational messages for the crash survivors. Survivor Davis is also their biggest fan. So, he wears an important message, actually, DAVIS. When you break that down, it’s survivors will discover that they are amazing, valued, inspiring, and strong.
So, he carries a very important message, and he’s a great mascot, and a great friend, actually. So, if anybody wants to follow him on Instagram, I’d certainly recommend that because I make it fun at the same time. So, it’s not only just Friday Focus. It’s little adventures here and there that he’ll be out sharing awareness. So, I would certainly recommend anyone to follow him.
David Craig – Host:
That’s fantastic. I’ve seen him. I’ve seen him multiple times. So, I follow him. So, I hope other people will, too.
Dawne McKay:
Yeah. Wonderful. Yeah. He’s a good help. People just love him. They get a kick out of him. Every week, it’s a different message. He’s always cheering every survivor on.
David Craig – Host:
Well, fantastic. Is there anything else that you think that you would like to add that we haven’t talked about or we haven’t covered during this podcast?
Dawne McKay:
Well, I think in closing, I just want to say that I created the Crash Support Network. It’s a highly informative and helpful resource for crash survivors. So, it’s been created by a crash survivor myself for other crash survivors. My message is if you or a loved one has been in a motor vehicle wreck, I encourage you to look at my website, which is www.crashsupportnetwork.com, and to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram because I’m highly engaged with the followers, sending lots of important information out, and to purchase my book, Talk Crash To Me: What to Expect After Surviving A Motor Vehicle Collision and How to Manage Your Recovery, which is available on Amazon.
The crash support is here for you, and you’re not alone, and please always remember that you can do this. It’s going to take a little while. Every crash survivor their recovery is different, but it is going to take a while and just hand in there. You will get there, and the Crash Support Network welcomes you to our group. Yeah.
David Craig – Host:
Well, thank you so much again and thanks for everything you’re doing for the victims of auto crashes and other types of crashes. It’s extraordinarily important work and I’m glad someone’s out there looking out for their interest.
Dawne McKay:
Thank you.
David Craig – Host:
This is David Craig, and you’ve been listening to After the Crash. If you like more information about me or my law firm, please go to our website, ckflaw.com or if you like to talk to me, you can call 1-800-ASK-DAVID. If you would like a guide on what to do after a truck wreck, then pick up my book, Semitruck Wreck: A Guide for Victims and Their Families. This is available on Amazon or you can download it for free on our website, ckflaw.com.
